Not Enough Questions
!!CAUTION!! Not every episode is for everyone, but you will find a piece of humanity in every episode.
On Not Enough Questions, we discuss questions that range from the mundane to the strange. We are for those in a state of curiosity, for those who question their own beliefs and way of being. You are invited to an unique experience; come with questions that have no correct answers.
Not Enough Questions
Kinky Consent
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Do you think sex should be considered a fun activity?
In this engaging conversation, Amanda Dames and Mr. Nobody dive into the nature of sex as a fun activity, exploring the consequences that come with it, and the importance of communication in relationships. The discussion covers kinks, porn and fetishes, emphasizing the significance of consent and safety when engaging in such activities. The episode concludes by reiterating the need for vulnerability and authenticity in relationships, encouraging individuals to be true to themselves and communicate openly with their partners about their desires and boundaries.
Thank you so much Amanda and the NEQ team
IG: @the_kinkconsultant
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alidigitalpro.com and Hafiz Ali Ahmad | LinkedIn
Audience survey
Mr.Nobody (00:27)
Welcome!
Welcome back, questionnaires. You know the voice. My name is Julian, my name today is Mr. Nobody. I have the wonderful Dominatrix Amanda with us. my my bad. Let me let me let me
Amanda Dames (00:37)
Former former dominatrix. Former Dominatrix, yeah.
Mr.Nobody (00:41)
Former Dhamma matrix, Amanda with us. Thank you for correcting me on the spot.
Amanda Dames (00:46)
So
the Dom in me is still strong. I'm like immediate correction.
Mr.Nobody (00:49)
Gotcha.
Amanda Dames (00:51)
But yeah, thanks for having me.
Mr.Nobody (00:54)
No, this I already can tell this is gonna be a great time. I r I didn't even ask, are you on a hard deadline for time or anything?
Amanda Dames (01:01)
I'm a podcast slut, Mr. Nobody. I'm on another podcast after this one.
Mr.Nobody (01:03)
Gotcha. Okay, so
Amanda Dames (01:07)
it might even be exactly right after this one. So we have an hour and five minutes, I think.
Mr.Nobody (01:10)
Got you, so I'll honor your t all right. Hour and five
minutes. Alright, cool. keep time going,
I already took up so much of your time as is. How was your last seven ish days?
Amanda Dames (01:21)
Good, really strong. the weather has been really good. I've been playing pickleball. something really random that happened though. I got a vaccine and I think that my body's been fighting it really hard because like my you can't really tell, but my lymph node is all swollen here. Like, you know, it doesn't just go down and over. And I've
Mr.Nobody (01:38)
Mm. Yeah, I see.
Amanda Dames (01:40)
I have like pain on my underarm too, so I'm hoping that goes away, but like
I've been in a lot of pain so I haven't been able to play as much pickleball lately s and that's been like
Mr.Nobody (01:49)
Wow.
Amanda Dames (01:50)
so the positive is I've met up with a lot of friends, had a really great time in the last seven days. The negative is I haven't played as much pickleball as I want 'cause my arm hurts.
Mr.Nobody (01:57)
Hmm.
I really hope that is resolved quickly and is not due to the vaccine, hopefully.
Amanda Dames (02:05)
Me too. Like
I'm like 'cause I think it probably is, but I'm just hoping it's a temporary thing and I'll get over it.
Mr.Nobody (02:11)
Got you. Okay. for me, my last seven is days. This is actually a really unique seven because I usually don't record episodes in a week's time doing something different for this new season. We'll see how this goes. but also with work it's just been catching up on the
order of work because I was gone for about two weeks in Tallahassee on a fire assignment so actively trying to catch up with that and it is a lot and yeah yo yeah yeah
Amanda Dames (02:45)
And you're doing this after hours, right? Like this is you're that is a lot.
Mr.Nobody (02:51)
yeah so but I just seem to be able to do everything or try to do everything so we we I I juggle a lot and hopefully I make it look easy because it is it is not
Amanda Dames (03:03)
Well, you definitely
make it seem effortless, for sure.
Mr.Nobody (03:05)
Thank you.
Thank you.
I wanna get straight into the question because like you said, you have something right after this. So we came up with a question a a a while back ago. If you see me looking to the side, that's just where my phone is. But the question that we came up together was, do you think sex should be considered a fun activity?
Amanda Dames (03:29)
I remember this question now. And now I'm
Mr.Nobody (03:30)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (03:32)
like, where did I fall in this? I think the answer is most of the time yes, but I want do I have to choose yes or no? Okay. Okay. Most most of the time
Mr.Nobody (03:40)
No, no, explain your thoughts. Explain your thoughts. This is what what are we here for?
Amanda Dames (03:46)
yes, but I want to acknowledge that sometimes in partnership you do things for your partner even when you're not feeling it. I'm not s if you're like a no, you stay with your no, right?
Mr.Nobody (03:56)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (03:57)
But if it's been three weeks and you're like, you know what, I really haven't been in the mood for the last three weeks either, maybe we should have a conversation about it. And the conversation could go one of two ways. Either like, we're gonna do it and I'm I'm probably gonna end up having fun, but like we'll see. I'm doing it for them. Versus this, my god, this I'm so passionate and excited about this. So I think that there is a lot of conversation out there right now about like, should you force should
Is sex a need in a relationship? Should your partner have sex with you? And if they're really not feeling it and they're like, no, I never want to have sex with you again, that is totally their right. However, I'm going to say it. There are times I've had sex where I wasn't really in the mood, but I was like, I know this is really important to my partner, and I'm going to do it for them, right? There are also times where I haven't been in the mood to go see my like
potential in laws, like my
Mr.Nobody (04:56)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (04:57)
boyfriend's family. I didn't want to sit there for four hours with them. Luckily this is my ex's family, but I went. I also negotiated that I only wanted to see them four times a year. Do you know what I mean? So like
Mr.Nobody (05:10)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (05:11)
was it fun? No. Did I make the most of it while I was there? I tried.
Mr.Nobody (05:16)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (05:17)
I think sex can be the same.
Mr.Nobody (05:20)
Okay. I like that. I like the
Amanda Dames (05:21)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (05:22)
way you went about this. I was not ex I well I'm so glad you didn't just go with a yes or no. For for me how I even interpret the question of should sex be a just a fun activity. It's yes, it should be considered a fun activity because it's all you know, pleasure and everything. But I wanna say no due to the
consequences
that comes with having sex. Because yes it's fun in the moment, but when fun ends up being a child you did not plan for, or a S T D, S Ti, it shouldn't it just be considered just a fun of that fun activity with such heavy consequences.
Amanda Dames (06:06)
That's fair, but you know what else is considered a fun activity with crazy heavy consequences? Driving.
Mr.Nobody (06:14)
That's fair.
Amanda Dames (06:15)
admittedly a necessary evil and I would argue
that most STIs today do not end your life.
right? We have amazing
Mr.Nobody (06:21)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (06:22)
medicines, preventative medic medicines, and I I agree with you. There are so many preventative medicines out there that if you are not on them, I actually think you are doing yourself a disservice because you don't need to get HIV anymore. There's something called PrEP. Like if you want unprotected sex, you get on prep, you get on the pill. Okay. I'll openly admit I'm not on the pill.
Right. I use
Mr.Nobody (06:46)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (06:47)
the natural family planning thing 'cause I do not like hormones. They make me truly crazy. They make me like really depressed and go to dark places. So I just have to like choose other ways to make sure I'm not getting pregnant. Yes, it's serious, I agree with you. But then like things like driving are fun and could I I think are much more dangerous than even flying.
Mr.Nobody (07:11)
No, you
Amanda Dames (07:11)
I don't
Mr.Nobody (07:11)
no no no you're absolutely right about that. You ask I had to think about it for a second. You're absolutely
Amanda Dames (07:15)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (07:15)
right that driving is way more dangerous than flying. That is a hundred percent fact.
Amanda Dames (07:20)
And we all just like, are you ever driving on the road though and you're like, my gosh, I can't believe we're just like letting people drive like this. These people should have their license immediately revoked.
Mr.Nobody (07:30)
The fact that I am this close on every so often just about to fall asleep on the road just because I've had an exhausted day. Yes, y absolutely.
Amanda Dames (07:40)
It's it's
really scary. So we're just trusting everyone. We trust more people driving than we do having sex, which is understandable. So much can go wrong during sex. So like I'm seeing now like why you're it's like you're even like convincing me. So much can go wrong during sex. That we
Mr.Nobody (07:57)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (07:58)
do need to take it seriously. And I'm not even talking about the consequences we were raised with. The consequences that we were told, you could end up with a child, you
Mr.Nobody (08:06)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (08:07)
could get an STI
I think that there are other things, like you could end up having a traumatic event during it that if you don't do it with someone you trust. I I honestly think sexual assault is one of the most upsetting, dangerous things that can happen. Once again, because I think a sexual assault is worse than an STI because you can ruin your own life.
Your life can be ruined for you, right?
Mr.Nobody (08:34)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (08:35)
If someone assaults you, because you it can be really hard to regain and reclaim your own pleasure and your enjoyment of it. So it's tough because it is fun, it can be fun, but the negative consequences are so grave. You're right. Maybe maybe it's fun, but taken seriously. Like skydiving. Fun.
Mr.Nobody (08:58)
yeah.
Amanda Dames (08:59)
But taken very seriously and some people are like, I would never do it.
Mr.Nobody (09:03)
Mm,
I think about it y you just made it to my mind like it's kinda like gambling. in the sense of it could be fun gambling away your money, getting a big reward and everything, but on the flip side of that, if you lose more than you bargain for, you just you do have to own up to those consequences. So that's where I where I land on the question for sure.
Amanda Dames (09:28)
It's funny you say it like that too. I lived in Vegas for a long time. Well for three years, that not that long
Mr.Nobody (09:32)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (09:33)
actually. But I moved from New York City and then when I told people, I'm new, I just moved here, everybody looked at me real serious. Like and they were like, Don't start gambling. Don't gamble. Just don't do it. And I was like
Okay, that's a little much. So honestly for a while I stayed away from the casinos, but then I started to meet Uber drivers and you get an Uber in Vegas and like I like talking to people but the craziest stories I've ever heard were from Uber drivers in Vegas and I mean crazy. The amount of people who move to Vegas, but the thing is they're moving because they like gambling. And I
Mr.Nobody (10:10)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (10:11)
think that that's the problem. So you have all these natives being like, Don't start gambling, but what they don't realize is the people who move here and gamble moved here just to gamble.
Mr.Nobody (10:19)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (10:19)
But like yeah, that
that warning of like you just reminded me of how gambling is treated so seriously in Vegas because also when you go to the grocery store, almost all major grocery store chains, like not the Walmarts, but the Vaughn's and the Smiths and like the Krogers of the world,
Mr.Nobody (10:36)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (10:37)
which are pretty common chains on the West Coast, have little casinos in like where you can do the slot machines.
Mr.Nobody (10:44)
Do they really?
Amanda Dames (10:46)
Yep.
Mr.Nobody (10:47)
Wow.
Amanda Dames (10:48)
I know. So I see where I see your point.
Mr.Nobody (10:52)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (10:52)
And sex can be its own addiction. So I often ask people to check in on themselves and see like, well, what are
Why are you choosing intimacy? Like why are you seeking sex? What is it helping you fulfill within your life? And for some people it's really positive things. Like, some people want that intimacy with their partner and they want that closeness. And then for some people it does fill a hole for them or a gap from a place of I don't feel worthy. I don't feel enough, so I'm gonna fill that with sex because then I'll
Mr.Nobody (11:23)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (11:24)
be enough. And that's fleeting. Sex doesn't last forever, the enjoyment of sex doesn't last forever, you know?
Mr.Nobody (11:30)
yeah, no. And that actually reminds me of another episode with someone that I had I I really wish I remember his name right now. But he says the same thing. He ha actually had a sex addiction. I'm I'm going to be sending him your way. I
put I'm going Yeah, no.
Amanda Dames (11:45)
Yeah, please do, 'cause y you know, I have a podcast too, which I wanna mention. I also like for anyone
who's like, wait, I wanna get into the kinky stuff, I also have the Kink Consultant podcast where I I get I go deep on all of this. All of the kinks. Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (11:59)
yes, no, I'm
going to remember his name. It's just escaping me right now. But until that randomly comes into my head because I don't want to look it up right now,
what is a kink that you either really enjoy or what is a kink that you want to explore? Because I will be honest, I'm not the biggest sex I don't have I haven't had a lot of sex in my life, so this topic is actually challenging me to just think and be open and honest with everything, so
Amanda Dames (12:27)
love that you had me on even
though that's your like you're like I don't have a ton of experience but like I'm gonna talk to her anyway so I love that. So my biggest kink that I talk about is there's some a kink is basically anything that doesn't fall under what's considered by society at large
Mr.Nobody (12:45)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (12:45)
normal sex, right? So there are different sex positions are considered normal. Anything penis and vagina is normal.
Mr.Nobody (12:53)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (12:53)
The thing that is probably not normal might be something like dirty talk or
Mr.Nobody (13:01)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (13:01)
having someone tied up while you're consensually having sex, right?
Mr.Nobody (13:05)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (13:06)
So that would be considered kinky. The definition of kink is very broad. Then there's something called a fetish, which is like a kink.
But it's needed by the person in order to achieve arousal. And there's a super common misconception that fetish is this negative bad thing that and if someone has
Mr.Nobody (13:24)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (13:25)
a fetish, they're like a freak and a weirdo and dangerous to society. I
Mr.Nobody (13:29)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (13:30)
mean, I have a fetish. I do not think I'm any of those things. I'm a very safe driver. I have never played with anyone non-consensually. So and I've always always consensual
Mr.Nobody (13:38)
Mm. You pay your taxes.
Amanda Dames (13:41)
between adults. So
A fetish is where you need it to achieve arousal and I have a spanking fetish. I need and think about spanking all the time. So that's one
Mr.Nobody (13:49)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (13:50)
I'm always thinking about. I was lucky enough to meet a partner at a party that was geared towards my specific fetish. and these are very common, these types of parties. I was lucky enough to meet a partner who's also into it. So we have a very amazing intimate life where both of our needs are met on a very consistent basis. but something that I
that I would like to try is I'd like to add more kinks into my life because I'm very my fetish is accommodated for I have that but like I'd like to get into a little more of that rougher sex space of being
Mr.Nobody (14:29)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (14:29)
tied up and things like that because that's not something I regularly do anymore. I used to do
Mr.Nobody (14:34)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (14:34)
it, but like it's not something that I do in my relationship right now and I'm thinking it would be fun to do that again.
Mr.Nobody (14:40)
Alright, I hope you send this to this person once once once I give it to you, I hope you just say, by the way, she sub But from
Amanda Dames (14:46)
We talk so regularly
that he knows. That's the other thing. There's very little in my relationship, almost nothing, that my partner doesn't know I'm feeling or thinking because I'm very I I'm a sex and relationship coach. I teach
Mr.Nobody (14:57)
Got you.
Amanda Dames (15:02)
this stuff to couples. I try and live my life that way regularly. But so I would say that's something I want to explore more of. And I've had
Mr.Nobody (15:09)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (15:10)
it just not with my partner. I want to ask you.
Is there anything you're interested or curious about exploring that you have not gotten to talk to any partners about already?
Mr.Nobody (15:23)
There's two on my mind that's always has been there. I don't know how to explain it, but the first one is using ice. okay. Yeah. What temperature play. Okay. Yes. So
Amanda Dames (15:32)
Yeah. We have a name for that. That's called temperature play. Yeah. I no matter
where that ice is going or what you're doing with that ice, that's temperature play.
Mr.Nobody (15:44)
Gotcha good to know. Yes, that's something I wanna experience. I actually was talking to a friend about it and she wants to use candle wa candle wax. So I'm like, I I can I have no problem going on either either end. Mm and then
Amanda Dames (15:58)
Either end of that temperature play, yeah. I like it.
Mr.Nobody (16:03)
the other one is I don't know what the why this is, but small bits of electrocution, like taser, is there
Amanda Dames (16:12)
Ele electro
play. Yeah. So it's all called a type of play. Electro
Mr.Nobody (16:17)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (16:18)
play is a lot of fun and I'd highly recommend you try it with somebody experienced.
Mr.Nobody (16:23)
Good to know.
Amanda Dames (16:25)
Yeah.
So I have some horror stories from my mid twenties when I let someone do some electro play with me where essentially we use something called a TENS unit, T E N S, all capital letters. It's a
Mr.Nobody (16:41)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (16:43)
it's I can't think what a ten like when something is acronym. No. What
Mr.Nobody (16:47)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (16:48)
is it when it's just letters? Is that an acronym?
Mr.Nobody (16:50)
I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (16:50)
I think so, yeah. like BDSM is an acronym.
a TENS unit and it had an attachment that you put inside of you. And
Mr.Nobody (17:01)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (17:02)
these are actually quite common for people,
This type of stimulation is common for back pain where you put it on your back. Anyway,
Mr.Nobody (17:09)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (17:09)
someone put something inside of me and it the machine was like broken and accidentally like electrocuted
Mr.Nobody (17:15)
god.
Amanda Dames (17:16)
me and it was the most painful experience ever. And so I that's why I say like I was young and dumb. I always joke, I wasn't always the kink consultant. There was a time when I was like a dumbass 24 year old doing dumb stuff and not vetting my partners well enough. You
Mr.Nobody (17:30)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (17:30)
know? That person should have taken it out and been like, Okay, something's not right here, let me test it instead of testing
It
while it was still inside me. Not that you'd be in that position. You're talking
Mr.Nobody (17:37)
Gotcha.
Amanda Dames (17:40)
about a very tame version, but it's still electricity, so you've got to be careful.
Mr.Nobody (17:43)
Yeah, absolutely. So how
would you what's a proper way to this this is truly me just asking you at this point. What's a proper way to like vet someone? Because or would you sign a agreement or some kind? I'm just curious. I've seen something like that.
Amanda Dames (18:00)
Yeah.
I so in the vetting process is where you meet someone and you decide whether or not you want to play with them, right? I often will start by meeting someone on say, so like what's your experience? That's a really good question for me to ask. I guess before that.
One question I might ask is so what are you into? Like some people might be into rope, obviously I'm into impact play, which is that type any type of hitting.
Mr.Nobody (18:28)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (18:29)
some people might be into temperature play or electro play. So I ask, what are you into? I like asking that question first and foremost. I kind of don't even consider it vetting because I if if they're not
into the same thing as I'm into, there's kinda no point in continuing on the conversation.
And they might say rope and I might say, that's not my thing, but you do impact and then we'd go from there. Okay.
Mr.Nobody (18:51)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (18:52)
Then I'd get into, well, like, what experience do you have?
How long have you been in the scene? I'd be trying to figure out how many years they've been doing it, how many play partners they have. I'd want to know if they have play partners I could speak to. You gotta think of this as like a safety check for yourself.
Mr.Nobody (19:12)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (19:12)
Do you trust this person? Do you think they know what they need to know to play with you? Okay, to
Mr.Nobody (19:20)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (19:22)
and then you might ask, what
I like to dig a little deeper with play partners too, to make sure it's very easy nowadays to say, yeah, I'm a dom, I'm a sub and for the person who says that not to know what that really means. I used
Mr.Nobody (19:35)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (19:35)
to I always like to ask, so what's your approach to dominance or what appro what's your approach to submission? What do you like about it? What what do you wish you could try more of? Or, you know,
Mr.Nobody (19:45)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (19:46)
it's almost like a podcast interview, right?
And from there, you're understanding how they're talking about it. Do you know what it is like a job interview, right? If you ever go to
Mr.Nobody (19:54)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (19:55)
a job interview and they were like, Tell me about a time and then they ask more detailed questions to make sure you're telling the truth,
you
Mr.Nobody (20:01)
Correct.
Amanda Dames (20:02)
you approach vetting the same way. Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (20:04)
Okay. So in
the sense of kinda like dating now too where you
Amanda Dames (20:09)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (20:09)
ask but you did deeper it but read the room in the situation.
Amanda Dames (20:14)
Yeah, and if you have someone who's super negative, complains all the time, nothing's ever their fault, that's probably not a safe play partner. Just like it's not safe to date someone who complains all the time and nothing's ever their fault.
Mr.Nobody (20:27)
Hmm Good to know. Hopefully the
Amanda Dames (20:29)
Mm-hmm.
Mr.Nobody (20:30)
questionnaires, you know, use that for whatever use they have. But I have another thought for you.
What time
Amanda Dames (20:38)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (20:38)
do you think people should get into sex, kinks and everything? Like what when
Amanda Dames (20:44)
In their relationship? Well, okay. So when
Mr.Nobody (20:46)
J either or.
Amanda Dames (20:48)
to bring it up? Or do you mean in their life in general? Okay.
Mr.Nobody (20:51)
Just i just in life, like yeah.
Amanda Dames (20:53)
So I the thing I was talking about, having a fetish. I was say
Mr.Nobody (20:57)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (20:57)
was born this way, right? So I think that the right time to ha get into it, you can explore it in your own fantasies when you're playing with yourself,
Mr.Nobody (21:07)
Hm.
Amanda Dames (21:07)
when you're of age and ready to do that, right? And that happens that development happens for different people.
Pursuing it with other people, I would highly recommend you are at least 18 years of age. Because there are a lot of bad actors in the space. You could be 16, 17 and say, I'm looking for this, and a 30 or 40-year-old will say things like, I think you need to try it with an experienced person. You can't do this with someone your own age. And listen, I can see how logically you might think, yeah,
Mr.Nobody (21:37)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (21:38)
that makes sense, but I cannot express this enough. No.
Play with people around your own age. Yes, you can learn together, but be learning. You know, I'm not gonna
Mr.Nobody (21:47)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (21:47)
say it's ideal, because you're probably not gonna have the best experience if you and your partner are doing it for the first time together. You're also young and you're not a you're not meeting a lot, you're not no one's experienced. Do you know what I mean? So like you're not
Mr.Nobody (22:00)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (22:01)
gonna meet a ton of experienced people. But do your research. If this is something you're into, research it, learn about it.
And then maybe go to some educational events. And you can find those on websites like fetlife.com. It's basically Facebook for kinky people. And
Mr.Nobody (22:18)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (22:19)
you can find local events. And I highly recommend people start by going to educational events and just teaching themselves more, sitting back and learning, assessing the situation before jumping in themselves, even if they're interested. Because even though kinksters are usually very safe and friendly.
It's still the real world. You gotta
Mr.Nobody (22:40)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (22:40)
be careful. You gotta look out for yourself. And just know that like any situation, if you are young and new and people feel like, they might have good intentions and wanting to like show you the ropes, it's best for you to make those decisions for yourself. So I would say when you're ready, but please go slowly, no matter when you decide to enter the scene.
Mr.Nobody (23:03)
Mm, I like that. Yes. I I was in my head I was debating between sixteen and eighteen of when people should start. And you've actually convinced me to say eighteen for the just life in general. People aren't well, two things. yes you could be playing with someone
your age and everything but you won't know and then too with eighteen you a are at least freer to do what you want if that makes sense. If
Amanda Dames (23:38)
Yes, totally.
And a lot of the spaces that I'm talking about don't let you come until you're 21 either. But there are
Mr.Nobody (23:45)
Mm mm.
Amanda Dames (23:45)
some that allow you to be younger and experienced. So I just I'd encourage everyone, explore when you feel ready, but recognize you don't know what you don't know. So stop yourself before jumping straight in.
Mr.Nobody (24:00)
I like that. I the thought of would you think it would be a good idea to go to a in my mind it's a house party, but I'm like that's not the term that I'm
Amanda Dames (24:14)
It might be a play party, like a play yeah, but that
Mr.Nobody (24:15)
Put that yeah. Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (24:17)
can happen at a house.
Please go to kink events for like educational events or social events like a munch. A munch is something, if you okay, if I'm talking to anyone,
Mr.Nobody (24:29)
Not Ice Spice.
Amanda Dames (24:30)
yeah, who's kinky, right? And they haven't
Mr.Nobody (24:32)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (24:33)
explored it yet, what I would tell you is definitely go to fetlife.com, create a profile, put and look at the events in your area. Look for things called a munch. A munch is a meetup of kinky people in a vanilla setting. Everyone's dressed in their normal street clothes.
They're going to a diner, everyone's sitting down and getting food together, and what you're doing is you're meeting your community in a non-kinky way. Yes, you might say, what are you into? How long have you been in the lifestyle? What's your story? You might ask questions like that, but it's vanilla. There's no kink play happening. It's about meeting people you like and trust.
Then maybe you ask them, well, what educational events are good to go to? What do you like to attend? You gravitate towards your type of people, whether that's your age group, whether it's like sometimes you go to a party and there's like a little punk a munch and there's like a little punk table or goth group and then there's the like older crowd and you sort of meet up with your group and you're like, these are my people. I wonder what events they're going to, right?
And from that, find out what educational events they go to, what parties. Make friends, go with people you trust, and explore that way.
Mr.Nobody (25:49)
I
also like how it's kinda taking the shame out of having a kinkin
Amanda Dames (25:56)
you just hit the nail on the head for real because it does take the shame out of it. And one of the biggest things I tell people who feel a lot of shame about their kink is please start going to events. You're a lawyer, you go to a munch, you meet another two lawyers, you realize, there's more people like me who live the life I live and are still exploring their kinks and surviving. They're not being outed, their whole life isn't over, they're enjoying it.
Mr.Nobody (26:22)
Yeah, no, I I really do like that.
I do you think porn helps or hinders kinks?
Amanda Dames (26:30)
good question. You are not afraid to ask those like big questions.
Mr.Nobody (26:32)
No, no, no.
Amanda Dames (26:35)
Okay. I think porn today and the access everyone has to it is harmful overall, but I'm pro porn. So what that means
Mr.Nobody (26:47)
Ooh, please explain.
Amanda Dames (26:48)
is I'm horrified by the stories I'm hearing of young
children 10, 11, 12, and to me that's still a young child having access to a phone, having access to porn, being in school, showing other people porn, right? At such a young age. I'm against that. I do not know how I feel overall though, because the government is trying to fix that. They're trying to make it so you have to log in with your ID to see certain sites. And I'm not I don't like
I don't like that level of oversight.
Mr.Nobody (27:23)
I understand.
Amanda Dames (27:24)
because I'm just like, how far is the government gonna go with all of this stuff? Like, are they gonna judge? Are they gonna ban things? Am I gonna end up on a list because I'm into kink, consensual between adults kink, but at the same time? So that's a necessary sort of like thing we have to figure out.
Mr.Nobody (27:40)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (27:40)
However
One of the things I do with my clients and is if one of them is kinky and the other isn't, I talk to the one who is and I say, What's your fantasy? and I try and find out what they're interested in and sometimes I'll say, Send me the porn you look at 'cause I wanna understand the themes of what they're into. I find that
Mr.Nobody (27:58)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (27:59)
Maybe they don't know their fantasy or understand it, but there's insight through porn. However, it could be argued that that same porn is stopping them from understanding their own desires because they get to look at a picture and think that.
Overall, I think for people who have kinks and fetishes and they're trying to understand themselves better, porn can be very helpful, but you can't rely on it. And I think that that's the distinction. Personally, I don't watch a lot of porn. Probably because
I run my own little fantasies in my head on a very regular basis. So I prefer them to watching porn. I find it quite tedious to like look at video after video. I care about the scenario as opposed to
Mr.Nobody (28:42)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (28:43)
the action. So I'm like, if the build up isn't there, I'm like looking for a movie. I want the whole backstory. And it it's
Mr.Nobody (28:48)
Gotcha.
Amanda Dames (28:50)
just faster if I do that myself. But I think that it can be helpful sometimes if you have a certain creator, a certain kink.
And you want to show your partner, hey, this is the type of stuff I'm into, that can be helpful, but that should never replace conversations. You should never say, I'm into this kink here. Look, can you do this? Talk about your feelings. Explain how you want to feel when you're experiencing this kink, and then
be realistic about it. Like what you're seeing on porn is probably not the reality, so I want you to have conversations to iron out, hash out what it's really like.
Mr.Nobody (29:30)
I I like the reality aspect of it because I was gonna s me just just thinking about I would think it would be less helpful. It's more of a hindrance than more helpful in the sense of the you take pe it takes you out of reality of
Amanda Dames (29:48)
Yes.
Mr.Nobody (29:49)
it's like this is a film, this is a movie or some way, shape or form for the most part or
What I assume the general topic is. So it's like it's made to entertain, it's made to keep you there. it may not fall into the same realm of reality that actually happens. What else? And then also think just watching it, I think it what's the war? Increases the dopamine in you to where it's like, I can get this any time that I want. Yeah. Yeah. Mm.
Amanda Dames (30:22)
You need the dopamine hit. Yeah. So yeah.
That and that's across the board. That's from anyone who's using TikTok too much, right? We're getting instant
Mr.Nobody (30:29)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (30:30)
satisfaction. Sometimes I'm on the phone and I'm on hold and I go to like swipe to the next thing 'cause my brain is like I'm bored now, you know? And I'm like, my God, this is a problem. What I will say is I'm a little bit older than you. and then I talk to a lot of people older than me.
There was a time where you could not get porn on tap. It didn't exist on the internet, you had to go buy a magazine. You couldn't
Mr.Nobody (30:52)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (30:53)
buy a magazine unless you were eighteen. So there was a time where a bunch of people, young adolescent boys, were masturbating to the JC Penny's catalog. So imagine
Mr.Nobody (31:04)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (31:05)
if like I don't know
Dillard sent out a catalog now 'cause there's so few JCPennies and it was just all the women in lingerie. It's like and that's what people had to look at and they used their imagination. I worry about people's creativity now with sex.
Mr.Nobody (31:21)
That that
that is fair because it with the internet everything's a what, a click away. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (31:28)
Yeah. And that's
why I think people are having less sex. And I know there's a ton of studies right now on why people are having sex less sex and there is a lot of fear around the dangers of it. But I think people are missing out on the connection, the human connection sex provides and choosing the instant gratification of
I'm not in I'm not against vibrators either, but I think that like if you masturbate so often with a vibrator that you can't come without one, that's another dependency. So I guess
Mr.Nobody (31:55)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (31:56)
what I'm saying is I'm anti dependency. If you're
Mr.Nobody (31:58)
Got you.
Amanda Dames (31:59)
and that's ironic for me to say because I'm dependent on the fantasy of my fetish in order to achieve
Mr.Nobody (32:06)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (32:06)
arousal. But what I will say is I'm not always seeking it out in one specific way. Sometimes
Mr.Nobody (32:11)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (32:12)
I have the role play in real life.
of what it is. Sometimes I'm imagining it. Sometimes I'm u using a toy to exper to get off and think about it. But like there's variety. There's no it's not the same thing over and over again.
Mr.Nobody (32:28)
I
see. And then with your fantasy isn't it still something like kind of it's like it's something you s y you're in control of. It's not like yeah
Amanda Dames (32:36)
Yes. I don't
rely on anything outside of myself for it, that's true.
Mr.Nobody (32:44)
with
this conversation, something that did pop up into my head was your thoughts on OnlyFans. Just just I
Amanda Dames (32:52)
As a former dominatrix,
I da it's considered sex work, much like OnlyFans. I when OnlyFans first started to blow up, I was a little resentful because when I was doing it was still this seedy horrible thing and now OnlyFans is a totally respected career and I was like, ugh, back in my day I was totally ashamed and had to keep it secret. But you
Mr.Nobody (33:12)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (33:13)
know, I got over that because I'm like, no, this is a much better thing. Women have control over men too.
over what they're putting out. Porn stars in the eighties and nineties were taken advantage of and it you know, they didn't own the rights to their own videos. So I think it puts the power back in the cr in the actors hands,
Mr.Nobody (33:32)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (33:33)
right? I'm for it. W I actually think OnlyFans does too much censoring just to make credit card companies happy.
Mr.Nobody (33:44)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (33:46)
and I actually think that OnlyFans is quite
anti kink. So fuck OnlyFans, but on the side of like loyal fans and all of those sites and creators being in charge, I'm definitely I think it's it has a place. Not only are people able to request custom things that they want to see, but I think that there's more of th it's a consensual agreement between both people. Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (34:12)
Okay. Got you.
Yeah, I thought I struck a nervous like you just didn't want you were you didn't want to talk about this one.
Amanda Dames (34:18)
No. I think
you'd have to try really hard to strike a nerve with me. Like really hard. Because I'll answer
Mr.Nobody (34:22)
Got you.
Amanda Dames (34:24)
anything. I just I'm very opinionated on things. Yeah. Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (34:27)
no, please, please give me all your opinions. All everything everything you want.
No, and f I don't I haven't used OnlyFans, that is not my thing. But you I am with you with the sense of giving ownership to creators because it's art in a in a sense.
Amanda Dames (34:50)
One hundred percent.
And it's giving it's giving a lot of ownership to the people who want to see it. You can commission something that you wanna see as opposed to spending four hundred hours looking for it on a site, you know?
Mr.Nobody (35:02)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (35:03)
I also have not used OnlyFans. That is okay, that might be an exaggeration. but
I'm just I I I'm not on there. I don't use it,
Mr.Nobody (35:13)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (35:14)
but I've I've gone and checked it out for sure. Like I
Mr.Nobody (35:16)
Gotcha.
Amanda Dames (35:17)
I also saved my name, the King Consultant, on OnlyFans, so no one else could take it. but
Mr.Nobody (35:21)
Got you.
Amanda Dames (35:23)
I am not on there. It's a blank page. Anyone's welcome
Mr.Nobody (35:26)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (35:27)
to go follow me. I think you can follow me for free, but there's nothing up there right now. Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (35:31)
Okay. And then
continuing my thought is just again with the sex work aspect of it where
Amanda Dames (35:40)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (35:41)
I think we're now in a point in society to where it shouldn't be considered taboo, I wanna say, and
Amanda Dames (35:50)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (35:51)
because
It because like you were saying, back in the day you had to hide it, you were people had to be ashamed about whatever they were doing. Now in today's society, twenty twenty six, it's more freely open to explore
Amanda Dames (36:07)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (36:08)
and do what you want.
Amanda Dames (36:11)
Yeah, for sure. And I think that what's interesting is technically it's the world's oldest profession. It's just getting an upgrade and keeping up with the times.
Mr.Nobody (36:18)
Mm. Mm.
Amanda Dames (36:20)
You know? Women have something that men want. But there are male creators on OnlyFans, especially in the kink space. People playing daddy doms, people selling recordings of like voice recordings. Because I don't women are not
Women are visual. They're just
Mr.Nobody (36:36)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (36:36)
not as reliant on visuals as our male counterparts seem to be. And I know
Maybe it's just what they say, but I I also know that men tell me like, No, I need visual stimulation, whereas women like, No, I'll read a book, or I'll listen to an a sexy audio, or I'll just imagine something in my head, or they're like much more sensuality based and they're like, No, I need a vibrator and that like that on my clit and I've talked to women who tell me they don't think about anything when they're orgas when they're masturbating, which
I work with them on that because I'm like, Really? Nothing? Nothing? And then we we go a little deep and they're like, Well I am thinking about this I'm like, Okay, that's part of your fantasy. Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (37:16)
Got you. Okay.
Got you.
have any
Amanda Dames (37:18)
I'm like no.
I think that like I want I'd like to take a second to just talk to people who might be in a relationship where they haven't expressed their kink or they've tried but it's not met well. This as a sex and relationship coach who specializes in kink, I work mostly with couples where one partner is kinky and the other is not. And what I'm trying to do is help bridge that gap.
If you find yourself in that situation, maybe you've had the conversation 400 times, but like I'm gonna tell you right now, I don't think you're having the conversation the right way if it keeps falling flat. So some of the things that I want to share with people is when you share this with your partner, let me just start by saying I've created a free guide. Please put it in your show notes. I'm gonna send you the link to it.
Mr.Nobody (38:04)
i
it's definitely going in there.
Amanda Dames (38:05)
Yeah, yeah,
right? And it's called Speaking Your Desires with Confidence. You can also go to my website, Amanda Dames dot com and put it on and at the very bottom is spee the freebie, the free resource, speaking your desires with confidence. It's a guide for you and your partner to fill out. And here's the high-level approach to it. You're leading with curiosity. You are asking your partner
If they have any fantasies. Normally, if you're the kinky one and they are not, your partner's gonna say, no, I don't have any fantasies. And I say that because if they had fantasies, this already would have come up at some point in your relationship. However, if they do share that they have fantasies, I want you to ask about them, be curious, listen. So you're leading with curiosity, you're asking them about themselves.
Too often we're so excited to speak we're not listening or we're so we're only starting the conversation so we can say what we want to say. So I highly recommend you lead with curiosity and listen. If they say no and they're steadfast, they're like sticking to it, they have no fantasies, I want you to say, okay, thanks for answering. I have a fantasy I'd like to share. Are you open to hearing it?
get consent from them that they're
Mr.Nobody (39:18)
I like this.
Amanda Dames (39:19)
ready to hear about it. They might say, Yeah, but not now. I'm busy. Like you're I'd really hope that you'd have this conversation at an ideal time for both of you and you could start by saying, Do you have time to chat? But should it come up, just like check that they have time. Then I want you to share your kink and how it makes you feel. Imagine your kink is enjoying candle wax, okay, 'cause you mentioned that earlier. I'm gonna say
Mr.Nobody (39:44)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (39:45)
I don't just want to know, I enjoy having candle wax dripped all over my body. Because to the non-kinky partner, that might sound weird. To me, I understand it because I'm a kinkster. I've done it to people. I've had it done. I understand it. It might not be my thing, but I'm like, I get that. Because
Mr.Nobody (40:01)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (40:02)
I'm programmed almost to think about like, well, what's that doing for them? For your partner, I don't just want you to say, I'm into having candle wax poured on me. I want you to talk about how it makes you feel.
Because feelings are more relatable than the kink itself. Having hot wax on you, not relatable. Exac like enjoying it.
Mr.Nobody (40:22)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (40:23)
It makes me feel
on edge. It makes me feel at a tension. It makes me feel excited. It makes me feel a little nervous and that makes me excited, which is turning which turns me on. Talk about the feeling it gives you. Not just the I like it because it's hot on my skin. Go deeper. What do you actually like about that feeling and why does that turn you on? Feelings are a lot more and you know your partner can empathize with how you feel.
So once you share it, I want you to then end with gratitude and say, thank you for listening. Is this something you'd be open to exploring with me? And they may say yes, they may say no.
The guide is helpful in this because there are important things about it. You gotta tell your partner it's important to you. Think about how many things you say to your partner that never goes anywhere just because it was passing and thought like, the circus is in town this weekend. You don't give a flying fuck that the circus is in town, but you saw it and you mentioned it to your partner. You don't want them to think that you bringing up your kink is the same as you telling them the circus is in town. You gotta go further and say, this is important to me. I'd like to explore this. Are you open to doing it with me? Are you open to talking about this with me?
And go from there. Yes, they might say no. At which point you have to go dig deeper with them and say, like, well, why is it a no? Can you explain what turns you off about it? What's disgusting? They might say, That's weird. That doesn't sound very manly that you want it. These are things I've heard, so that's why I'm sharing them.
Mr.Nobody (41:53)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (41:53)
If that is something you hear, I want you to ask your partner, like, okay, I understand. Definitely, society would tell you it's not manly, but like, do you feel it makes me less of a man? Do you feel that?
all of these things make me less or for example if it's a woman who wants it.
Their partner might say, That's not very feminist of you to want to be put in that position. You ask your partner, Well, why do you feel that way? Is that how you feel? Or do you feel that's what society is saying? Do you feel I'm less of a feminist because I want this? Do you feel that these other parts of me Yeah,
Mr.Nobody (42:24)
Okay.
Amanda Dames (42:25)
you start attaching logic to it. Okay. And if none of that works, I want you to book a consult with me because that like if this is important to you and is important to your relationship
See like seek out every resource to help you. You know? Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (42:40)
Hmm. No
Amanda Dames (42:42)
So that's like the last thing I wanted to share because I'm really passionate about this. I think that's probably why we went through it so quickly, because I'm just like, this is important and this matters.
Mr.Nobody (42:51)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (42:51)
So let's talk about it openly. And I wanna give y your listeners that free resource so that they're able to. And also truly just because I like how curious you are and I feel like you probably have some curious listeners.
I am going to for anyone who hears this podcast and wants a consult with me, if they email and say I listened to the Not Enough Questions podcast,
I am going to give a free 20-minute consult. My consults are normally $100 and that acts as a deposit towards your first session. But I like how curious you are and I think your listeners are gonna be just as curious. So if they want to book a coaching session with me and they're they're still on the fence about it, I want to offer them that free consultation.
Mr.Nobody (43:38)
I really do appreciate that. And I'm smiling on my end because I was like I was gonna give you the floor to do this. You you you you jumped this whole set in it. Nothing nothing
Amanda Dames (43:49)
I
Mr.Nobody (43:50)
wrong with that. I'm letting you know it right now. That's why I'm so I'm like, you already did it. Perfect. I don't
Amanda Dames (43:55)
Yeah. Yeah. Do you want do do you want me to jump to the part where can you find me? 'Cause
Mr.Nobody (43:59)
No no no no no no
So
what since you already did the the floor aspect I'm gonna ask you one extra question.
Amanda Dames (44:04)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (44:06)
this is actually a thought that's been on my mind just a little bit. do you have to manipulate someone to get what you want?
Amanda Dames (44:14)
No, absolutely not. But you need to be vulnerable with them. It's almost like you need to manipulate yourself to get what you want. Because it's very hard to open yourself up to someone fully and say, This is who I am, because you're opening yourself up to rejection. And that's an extremely vulnerable, tough place to be. I hate being rejected. I can't tell you how many times
I don't go for something because I'm scared of the rejection. I'm scared about what rejection will say about me. So you don't need to I don't need to manipulate the other people. I just need to show myself and say to them, This is who I am. Can you accept me this way?
Mr.Nobody (44:54)
Like that. Yeah, because I I'll be completely honest with you, growing up and how I see relationships and everything, it seems like and I'm talking for like the guy's perspective specifically.
Amanda Dames (45:06)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (45:07)
it's like the guy has to act a certain way or f fake until you make it into just to
convince a woman to sleep with them even though it's not like their true personality and
Amanda Dames (45:22)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (45:23)
growing up I'm like I don't want to be like that. I'd rather be myself and not have to that's why I'm like why I specifically
Amanda Dames (45:31)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (45:32)
use the word manipulate and it's like, I'm going to trick you like I will buy you take you out to dinner, give you all this money, whatever gifts or whatever tactic it is just to persuade someone
into sexual acts. Yeah, yeah. Mm. Yeah. Mm.
Amanda Dames (45:50)
Choosing choosing you though, right? Because
it's not about the sex, it's about being chosen. And first someone who's doing that to receive sexual acts, which I understand isn't you, right? But you th that you were shown, like, if you want sex, you gotta do all these things, right? It's about being chosen, right? So it's sort of like, what do you have to be to be chosen? And the examples you're given are what society said you had to do to be chosen, as opposed to
then they're choosing your money. They're choosing your your int your preference in restaurants. They're not choosing you. So I think that s showing people who you really are and here's the tough part about that. Knowing who you are. And that does not happen easily. It's even
Mr.Nobody (46:32)
Mm-hmm. No.
Amanda Dames (46:34)
harder when you're told do these things.
And then someone will pick you. Go get the good job. Go get the nice house. Drive the fancy car, take them on this date, treat them this way, and their panties will fall off. You
Mr.Nobody (46:48)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (46:49)
know? That's what you're told, isn't it? You're taught
Mr.Nobody (46:51)
Yeah.
Amanda Dames (46:51)
that like if you can just be enough, and that's the hard part, you start to externalize what enough is. And then when the internal is sort of left to figure it out for itself. And I'm gonna say
The problem with that doesn't show up in your twenties, it doesn't show up in your thirties, it starts to show up in your forties and fifties. And I only say that because that's what I'm seeing. I'm seeing people wake up and realize, I didn't do what I was supposed to or I did exactly what I was supposed to do and I'm still not happy. Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (47:24)
you not mhm.
Yeah. So and I I I I I I see it too and I will say, there was an encounter that I had where I was truly just myself, wasn't looking for anything and it led to, you know, other events and I'm like, so the person was like why are you so smile like smiling? I'm like, I'm just glad that I could be myself and not have to perform or
Amanda Dames (47:53)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (47:53)
trick or anything. So
Amanda Dames (47:55)
And I think it's
really funny that so many people say, I found them when I wasn't looking and what that actually means is I found them when I wasn't performing.
Mr.Nobody (48:03)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (48:04)
You know? And like you had an interaction. I'm so glad you had that experience, no matter how it ended up, you had you got to be seen.
Mr.Nobody (48:12)
Yes. that that's it exactly. I can I love talking to you, I'm not gonna lie. This is this is great.
Amanda Dames (48:23)
thank you.
Mr.Nobody (48:26)
I'm gonna give you the floor again just in case. Is there
Amanda Dames (48:28)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (48:28)
anything else you wanna share?
Amanda Dames (48:31)
If you think you are kinky or curious about kink, please follow me on Instagram at the underscore kink consultant. Listen to my podcast, the Kink Consultant Podcast, and try not to be ashamed of what you want. Instead, be curious about why you want it. Think what does this make me feel? How does this make me feel excited? And how can I explore this with my partner? Because that's part of being chosen and and being seen is showing up as yourself and
If you are single right now, the best thing I can tell you is just be yourself in a relationship. Be honest about who you are and what you want so that you do end up with the right person. Because if you are showing your true self and being seen and accepted that way, that's where real happiness is.
Mr.Nobody (49:18)
I a hundred percent agree with you. before you go, I like to do a thing. if you haven't listened to any other episodes, my thing is always gonna be a quote. and surpr I'm I'm not gonna lie, I'm reading it right off my phone. So alright.
Amanda Dames (49:34)
Go for it.
Mr.Nobody (49:38)
this thing actually comes from the book Will by Will Smith and
the quote is this.
It's easy to love somebody when they do what you want. what they when they do what you want exactly how you want them to do it. But how do you behave when they step outside of your picture? How do you treat them when they hurt you? Those are the times that determine whether or not you actually love somebody.
Amanda Dames (50:06)
what lit your quote could not have been more perfect. So the way I just said what I said,
Mr.Nobody (50:09)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (50:10)
and then you came with that quote. I we i we've gone full circle here. Like we've
Mr.Nobody (50:14)
Oui.
Amanda Dames (50:15)
covered it all. I absolutely love that. And I think like he hit the nail on the head and his relationship is one that has gone through a lot of scrutiny of society, telling
Mr.Nobody (50:24)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Dames (50:25)
them what their relationship should look like. And you know, they've stayed together, whatever that looks like. And I think a lot of people do judge because
That relationship doesn't look like what we're told relationships should look like.
Mr.Nobody (50:39)
Mm.
Amanda Dames (50:39)
But they have kids that are still in their lives. They're still together and showing up for each other and I think there's a lot to be said for that.
Mr.Nobody (50:46)
Couldn't have said any better any better than myself.
Amanda Dames (50:50)
Uh-huh.
Mr.Nobody (50:51)
I think I said that right, but as you can see.
Amanda Dames (50:52)
Yeah.
Mr.Nobody (50:54)
But thank you, Amanda. I like to do a send off by saying, don't forget to ask yourself, ask others, and never stop asking questions. See ya.
Amanda Dames (51:05)
Love it.
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